This Moment

While driving along Route 15 in the rain, taking the family to the mall, 'This Moment' by Matthew Sweet began to play, and I was struck anew with how precious every day is. The kids are growing up so fast, and are really extraordinary people. I feel lucky to know them, let alone have the privilege of being their mom.
As I sit in my living room hours later, writing and watching the series 'Dogtown', I see the moon through the window, looking robust and bright. I feel so blessed and lucky to be experiencing life this way, to feel so moved by mundane things, to not take it for granted, at least some of the time.
I think it's so easy to lose sight of what's real and good, to focus so much on the future or to be so mired down in the past, that we lose the ability to fully enjoy life in the now. I've got this amazing family, and the good fortune to be able to accept them for who and where they are right now. I am getting better at accepting myself, which makes a huge difference in the level of satisfaction I feel with my life. I love that I don't have to live my life according to what other people think I should be doing or what they think of me. I can live it for me. It gives me so much to be grateful for.
Additionally, I've been really struggling with the idea that I need to find work, at least on a temporary basis until I find something more permanent. As it turns out, a few more days a week came available at one of my jobs, and a friend and colleague was offered them. She thanked them for the offer, but suggested that I might be a better candidate, knowing that I need the work. I felt so blessed when she presented the idea to me, and it seemed very right.
I am finding that the less I struggle with things, the more faith I have that everything is working out according to divine order, the better I'm able to manifest the things I need in life. I am learning to be comfortable with open spaces in my life. They are filled, in the absence of worry, with the thing that seems a most natural fit. It's a comfortable way of life for me.
I am enjoying living so much these days, and I think as a result, my family is, too. There is some credence to the saying, 'If Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.' I feel like in many ways I am the rudder in my family, steering us into calmer waters for a rest when we need it, and other times into the churning white water of life. I am not the whole ship, nor am I the navigator.