While reading an email I get almost daily called 'A Journey' I came across this passage. It was in reference to a conversation the author had on a recovery-focused blog. It read:
We both experienced the deeply ingrained sense of hopelessness that drove our depressions, addictions and other learned coping skills that had served us well in our dysfunctional upbringings. And we both experienced what some would call a near miraculous turnaround in that we both no longer suffer from these "diagnosis" or live only to manage the symptoms that kept us in chronic distress.
I'm not sure I'd say hopelessness was a coping skill as much as a life lesson. I learned young to fight it off, and to have faith that something better was just around the corner. Eventually I learned that if you expected good things to be waiting around that corner, they were. Sometimes.
I had a conversation with my soon-to-be 12 year old daughter on the way to her friend's house today. I listened to her give me her take on why it's important to think things through, because sometimes the consequences of our actions are more than we are prepared to owe. And that if she doesn't try, it's a guarantee she'll not reach her goal. It's such a blessing to me that I have been able to live, not mired down by the past or by my 'diagnosis' but free and peaceful and happy in a way that feels like I'm using my whole soul, not just a portion.
I'm weird and annoying at times. I have a hard time not getting loud. But now I see that I also am powerful and loving, responsible and willing to make personal sacrifices for the betterment of the whole Randazzo clan, and beyond that, mankind. I'm not perfect yet, but I'll let you know if I need any assistance. Ha ha.
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1 comment:
Nice one, Jenny!
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