Oh, what the hell...

I am recovering. I'm not too sure from what, exactly, but I know I am making progress. Where I'm headed is also a mystery. I know, I know. I feel like life is a ball of yarn I'm just supposed to keep unraveling until I get to the center. How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? The world may never know....
I am so frustrated with the things that are going on in my life lately. I feel very dissatisfied with my work, but I feel like it would not be very prudent of me to quit a 'good job' in 'this economy'. I want to be home getting things done in the house, but then when I'm here for more than an hour I get so frustrated that I'm yelling and throwing things. I won't lie to myself, there is a serious problem here. My question is what the heck is the solution?
As my soul becomes more open and my mind more elevated, I feel and see things I didn't see before. I feel very connected to my intuition in some matters, but in this, I feel like indecision has paralyzed me. I don't know what the right decision is. And I'm having a hard time even clearing my mind enough to give it any consideration.
Tick tock, tick tock. To make matters worse I'm running out of time. I have to make a choice, one way or another, and I have to make it soon. So what gives? Where has my intuition gone to, just when I need it the most? I don't know but I feel so stifled that it's no real surprise that I don't have any answers for myself.
I love music, writing, reading, singing. I love teaching and art and cooking. I love to lie around and watch movies with the family all day long. I love helping people. I love history. I love fishing and camping. I know there are a thousand more things I could add to this list. But at this very moment I feel heavy and smothered in hate. Frustration seems to have stolen my ability to beiieve in love or beauty or happiness. Dang it. I'm going to try to sleep it off.
The next time I write I'll try to remember to write about giving it to God, and teaching children something you never learned yourself.

I (heart) Blogging

I love blogging. I love all types of writing, but I have a special place in my heart for the blog. So why don't I do it more often? I'm a good writer, and I know it. I feel like it's such a wasted talent in me of late. I wish I could just flip a switch and get back in touch with the writer hiding in me. I am trying... welcome to my blog. I hope to see you here again real soon.